After a baby coming into your life, a new relationship arises in between parent and a child. It comprises of beautiful feelings, cute behaviors, and different sort of expectations. All these emotions are unique to a particular parent and a child. These emotions and behaviors play an essential role in child's development. First time parents feel surprised knowing the fact that their lives and relationship is changing in a very fruitful way.
In fact, "A baby will change virtually every component of your life: physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, relational, social, financial, logistical and spiritual," according to Joyce Marter, LCPC, psychotherapist and owner of Urban Balance, LLC, which offers a Pre & Post Baby Couples Counseling Program
Relationship always suffer whether you have given birth to your first child or fourth child.
As Marter said, "The first child most often brings about the greatest life and relationship change, but each subsequent child affects a couple almost exponentially, widening the scope of responsibilities and compounding family and relationship dynamics."
Situation of a new Mother and a Father
After a baby, new mother feel overwhelmed by their changing role in their life. Baby becomes the first priority for a mother compared to her career, friends circle and other family members. Another change that come in her life is her body image. As women are always particular about their image, now they feel very weird about their physic. Here she needs love and affection of her partner. Husband should spend some quality time with his wife. He should look after his baby alone for some time which helps in giving a break from her monotonous work.
After childbirth, a woman spend very little time with her husband due to being occupied with her new born baby. In this situation, few husband feel isolated and left out. It may sometimes affect their fatherly love towards their baby. Here a woman can take an initiate to involve his husband in taking care of new born. He can offer help while changing baby diapers, while giving baby bath and other respective things.
Parenthood, intimacy and your relationship
For every couple, the experience of their baby is different from others. For few of them, the period from transition to parenthood is unique and healthy. Other couple feel this period very stressful and exhausted because of lack of intimacy and distant relationship. In other words, few people like this kind of change and few do not like being distant.
While playing role of parents, it may be difficult for a couple to spend some quality time with each other. Due to this gap, few couple experience uncertainty in their sexual relationship. Here in order to avoid the misunderstandings, it is essential for a couple to acknowledge this distance feeling in an honest way and try to discuss their feelings of unhappiness ad distress openly. This will ultimately help them in rebonding their relationship in a beautiful manner.
Relationships with others
When a baby comes in a life, it not only affects the personal relationship of a woman but also affects the bonding created with other friends and family members.
Relationship with family members: There may be a situation when your mother tries to teach you how to take care of your baby but you feel she is beholding you in each and every thing which you do not like. Sometimes there may be a situation when you think yourself very aloof from others, your family members and friends are not helping you more. It is better to discuss with your relatives about the need and help what you are expecting from them as they are less aware about the things you are in need of. As the time passes, your friends and relatives are also getting used to of this new environment change came in your home.
Relationship with friends: You may also feel that you have lost your old friends circle. Try to keep in touch with them and making them understand the changes come in your new phase of life. Do not avoid or neglect your friends, as their support may be really valuable.
Relationship with grandparents: The relationship with your parents also change. They are now the grandparents, their involvement will be more in your day to day life. As earlier they does not bother you about your lifestyle, you feel their interference more disturbing in your daily chores.
Assistance from a counsellor or therapist
A counselor is a person who helps you in clearing your frustration and irritation from your mind and give you a good sense of clear idea about your life. Try to talk with a relationship counselor. They can be free and paid services. For free you can go for online support like live chat service. For hiring paid service, they can help you through webcam, mobile or face to face interactive session.
For example: there is one service named, The Couple Connection. This is the listening room of charity. Here you can chat here live for free with the counselor and ask for help you want from them.
Few people think that bringing a child into their relationship helps in building their relationship more strong. But this is only in the situations when you are mentally prepared for it. If it is unplanned then it can chip away your relationship.
Take this surprising statistic: Within three years of their child's birth, about 70 percent of couples experience a significant slump in their relationship quality, according to the Gottman Relationship Institute.
Addressing your financial priorities
When a baby comes into your life, it may also affect you in economic terms. Your expenses may shoot up time to time due to fulfilling the demands of your baby. Before baby if you both were working, then it would be difficult for you to face the current situation of your expenses. As only one person has to bear for all the expenses incurred within the family. This can be another issue of stress and conflicts between the relationships.
Every parent has its own understanding of nurturing a baby. Sometimes it may lead to conflict between the couple. In order to avoid these kind of situations, one parent should take the decisions about the baby nurturing (preferably mother should lead a role) and other parent should follow the other's decision.